You’re probably here because you want to lose weight, or you want to maintain your lost weight. Maybe you just love hanging out with me, and I really can’t blame you. If you are here to unf*ck your weight loss, you probably have a few questions. How do I lose weight? How do I unf*ck my weight loss? How do I do it in a way that is different and feels good and will last? The answer to these questions lies in your beliefs.
What do you really believe about food?
You probably have a lot of thoughts about carbs, what you should weight, your diet, your sister’s diet, what you should eat, and all kinds of other things pertaining to health, fitness, and weight loss. In fact, data shows that the average human brain is very busy thinking 40,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day.
These are not 40,000 to 60,000 new, unique thoughts that you’ve never had before. They are habitual thoughts. Thoughts that you have over and over and over. So much so that there are these neural pathways that are like grooves in our brains, where we automatically think these thoughts. See pizza, have a thought. See a doughnut, have a thought. See a number on a scale, have a thought.
There’s nothing wrong with the thoughts and beliefs that you may be carrying. But they really are a huge, accumulated mass from all the years past. Probably from the time you can remember, you have been picking up information, cues, info, and inputs. And we’ve now come to adulthood carrying all these thoughts and beliefs we’ve been accumulating for 30-50 years, many of which we accept as our truth.
Here’s the good news…
These thoughts and beliefs don’t have to be your truth. Your reality is what you think. It’s kind of like if you ask 10 people about anything, you get 10 completely different viewpoints. It’s just amazing. Our experiences are like that. You can have 10 people in the same room, eating the same meal, and there are 10 different experiences based on thoughts and beliefs that have been accumulating over many years.
Everything that you’re carrying today, all those thoughts and beliefs, are from your past. If you want to create a future for yourself or your body, weight, and/or health, all that shit from the past is not going to get you there. It’s just not now.
Here’s the best part. You don’t have to change everything about my thoughts and beliefs in order to have new thoughts and beliefs. That would be like scrubbing your brain clean and asking no thoughts. Then you work on getting new ones. You can start working on new beliefs, even if you’re not sure about getting rid of the old ones yet. It’s a process. How do you get new beliefs? PRACTICE! It’s like anything else.
Do you find yourself resisting things?
Start keeping a journal or a notebook pad of paper around. I want you to write down what you believe based on the questions you can ask. So you might want to ask things like:
What do I believe about losing weight?
What are my thoughts about losing weight?
What do I believe about how I should look?
What do I believe about eating certain foods?
What do I believe is the right diet for me?
You can ask any question. There is no wrong question. I would just try to keep asking enough questions to get some answers about what kinds of thoughts you’re walking around with.
These thoughts you’re carrying around are tricky, subtle things you wouldn’t even notice. So this exercise is a very curious practice to find out all the thoughts that you carry around. It’s these thoughts that actually make weight loss seem scary and hard.
Why can’t it be fun?
Why can’t life be easy and fun as we get in the body we want, in the clothes that we want, and in the energy that we want? Why can’t that be fun? Find the thoughts that are keeping you from feeling like it’s fun. If you’re reading to this going “Fuck you, Bonnie. It’s not fun.”, then what is it that you think?
I spent a lot of my years feeling like it’s not fair. It’s not fair that I have to lose weight. Everybody else is eating this. Why can’t I eat this? These were my thoughts that were making weight loss hard and not fun. So what thoughts are holding you back? I want you to write it down on paper. Answer the questions above and don’t just stay at the surface level with your answers.
Truth bomb time.
Your brain is looking for self-preservation and is not going to prioritize weight loss ever. It goes against survival. So that is why we have a lot of these thoughts and beliefs. They just keep us stuck where we are in a life and body that we’re not excited about. So why not have some fun? Get excited. Just write it down. Play with it. If you don’t like what’s coming up, that’s okay. Let’s try not to judge it. Just be curious. Let’s be a detective. Let’s be a scientist. Let’s just see what comes up. And if you really are appalled, you can throw it away.
But I have a feeling when you find some of these thoughts and beliefs, it’s going to be amazing. You’re going to gain this awareness. You’re going to feel like it’s an outside looking in experience. you’re going to have that 30,000-foot view as to what’s really going on in your own goddamn head. Then, you can move forward. You can’t go into the future carrying around the old thoughts and beliefs from the past. So let’s get to writing this down. And if you need my help, I’m right here.
NOTES IN ANCHOR
You’re probably here because you want to lose weight, or you want to maintain your lost weight. Maybe you just love hanging out with me, and I really can’t blame you. If you are here to unf*ck your weight loss, you probably have a few questions. How do I lose weight? How do I unf*ck my weight loss? How do I do it in a way that is different and feels good and will last? The answer to these questions lies in your beliefs. You can’t go into the future carrying around the old thoughts and beliefs from the past.
ABOUT THE HOST
Bonnie Lefrak has been in the health and fitness industry for 25 years. As a former bikini competitor, Bonnie helps other women achieve their dreams of being on stage as bikini competitors through her bikini program at the gym she owns in Massachusetts called Fitness Asylum. But as a self-proclaimed professional dieter, Bonnie also realized the toll dieting takes on the human brain.
Bonnie helps women over 40 lose weight without killing themselves in the gym, eliminate all the BS food drama, and help to create a life and body they LOVE. She wants to help women create certainty in their own lives, their own results, and their own abilities. Weight loss is not about the one “right” diet. It is about MUCH more than that.
Weight loss is not about the one “right” workout. Weight loss is not about being positive and putting a big smile on. Weight loss is about FEELINGS. All of them. Not trying to bury them or hide from them but knowing and allowing the full human experience. Weight loss is not about grinding hustling and will powering your way to some end line. Transformation (when done well) is done from the inside out. Transformation doesn’t happen on the scale. She is an expert at Demystifying weight loss and helps you unfuck your diet brain.
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