How to Make Weight Loss NOT Suck

by | Sep 22, 2023

Today we’re talking all about how to make weight loss not suck or how to make weight loss suck less, depending on your mood.

If you’ve ever been on a diet there’s a big, loud voice in our head that says, weight loss is not easy. Weight loss is hard. Weight loss sucks. So let’s flip the script a little bit. 

Rather than get into this cognitive dissonance space, where we’re trying to tell ourselves something that we don’t fully believe, it’d be great to walk around going weight loss is easy. Everything is easy. Everything comes to me so easily. When it’s not always easy. Sometimes it does suck.

How can we make it not suck? Or suck a little bit less? 

1) Focus on what you are eating or what you decide you can eat versus fixate on what you cannot.

Diets have us with a list of foods you can have and a list of foods you can’t have or are not supposed to have. Ones that are not good for you. That of course makes us angry, resentful, restricted, deprived. We fixate on what we cannot eat and that does not help. 

Let’s look at what you are eating or what you can eat or what you are putting on your plan. Part two to that is we start to really pull apart that all or nothing thinking where we realize okay, there is no defined list of foods you can and cannot eat for weight loss. 

The reason you can feel sure of this? It’s not cognitive dissonance. You know that there are some people who are losing weight, 

  • Eating low carb, 
  • High fat, 
  • Low fat, 
  • No fat, 
  • Doing Nutrisystem, 
  • Octavia, 
  • Jenny Craig, 

Everything under the sun, everything kind of works. 

So there is not one set of rules. We get to make the rules. 

2) Automate as much as you can.

If you heard my podcast on What is for Dinner, I talked a lot about this. Automate as much as you can in terms of meals that you normally or regularly would eat. We will rotate some of those in and out. 

I look at automating things like always having protein in my meal. In fact, not just having it in the meal, but making it the anchor of the meal. When I think about okay, it’s time for breakfast, it’s time for lunch, it’s time for dinner, whether I’ve planned it ahead of time, I’m cooking it, I’m thinking about what’s the next meal, it is what is the protein. Where’s the protein here? 

Where’s the beef? Remember that where’s the beef? If you don’t like beef, what else would give you protein? There are a lot of different directions you can go. If you don’t necessarily do animal proteins, you could be doing some of the dairy stuff. If it’s cottage cheese, if it’s Greek yogurt, maybe it’s protein powder, but really think about protein. 

Then you can start automating. Every single breakfast is probably eggs and bacon or eggs and fruit or eggs and toast. Eggs, vegetables, toast. It’s the Garanimals of eating. 

Besides protein as the anchor, when you think about automating, think about what is quick? What is easy? What is enjoyable enough? It doesn’t have to be a party in your mouth. But what is enjoyable enough for you to go okay. 

  • Yeah, I like this. 
  • It hits the spot. 
  • It makes me not hangry and starving and a maniac.
  • It has some level of nutrition. 
  • It meets my needs.

That’s really kind of it. 

If you are someone who is like well, breakfast and lunch are easy, then let’s go with that. Let’s not look at what is the problem. If we’re going to make weight loss not suck or suck less. How about if this is a win? I got breakfast and lunch down pat. Then maybe there is a little bit more flexibility in dinner. Maybe dinner is less automated than the other meals. We’ll take what we can get. Everything doesn’t have to be perfect in order for you to lose weight. 

3) Remind yourself you get to work on your weight loss.

It’s your choice. We all have a choice. You don’t have to lose weight. Even if your doctor says you have to,you don’t have to. It’s not a cross to bear you. It’s an opportunity to create exactly what you want. What do you want your health, your fitness, your body to be? Seriously, remind yourself that otherwise, it is going to feel like it sucks. It’s going to feel like a chore, a punishment, and a problem. 

It can be, I get to;

  • Do this, 
  • Work on this, 
  • Work out.
  • Take care of myself, 
  • Eat healthy,
  • Make food choices, 
  • Take supplements, 
  • Go to sleep, 

because that is ultimately what makes me feel physically and emotionally the best. 

4) You will fail. 

We’re already sort of saying I’m going to fail, right? It doesn’t have to be white knuckling like, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh, my gosh, I hope I don’t fail. I hope this goes. I hope I make it through today. Hope I make it through tomorrow. Hope you make it through the week. I hope I can lose weight. 

Weight loss is a lifetime journey, not in the way you’ve done it before. Not like one big diet after the next but it is like, we’re gonna lose weight, and then we’re going to work on keeping it off. 

Along the way, you will fail. You will leave your lunch on the counter. You will have an angry overeat. You will get food poisoning. You will go on vacation and there’s no gym. I mean shits gonna happen. You will fail, we all do. But we don’t have to make it mean that it’s not working, or it will not work.

If you want it to suck less, just just sort of say I’m going to fail. And you know, you can fail your way to the finish line. Lots of people don’t. I probably should. 

5) Find like-minded people.

You’ve heard this a million times but you are the product of the five people you hang out with the most. The people we associate with, are pretty much going to be a mirror of who we are, how we live our life, what our core values are.

If you’re making the decision to lose weight and keep it off, you’re probably not going to spend all weekend long in the bar. You’re just not. I mean, you could spend some time in a bar, but probably going to have to change some things about your lifestyle. I think that is scary. I think that does make it for a lot of women, it makes it like we have to make a big choice between ourselves and other people. 

But guess what? No one can take care of you but you. There are like minded people out there. Women, men, friends, relatives, people at a gym, people at a community center. Maybe you’re part of other things like, moms groups or at work. There are other women out there who feel just like you, you are not alone. You are not the only one who eats cheez-its at night when they’re tired, lonely, bored, angry, etc. Been there, done that. But we don’t want to have a club where we all do that. Part of the journey is the awareness around that. 

I want to find somebody who wants to go on a walk. I want to find somebody who likes healthy recipes. I want to find somebody who wants to work out. I want to find somebody who is interested in living their best life just like me. They are out there. 

6) Be intentional. 

We get busy and it feels like life just happens to us. In fact, if you do not decide on purpose to be intentional, life will happen to you. Other people will have their agenda met and you will not have yours met. You have to be intentional. 

Take 5-10 minutes a day, gameplan, look at your calendar; 

  • What meetings do you have, 
  • Where do  you have to be? 
  • What needs to get done?
  • Put your meal plan in there, 
  • put your workout schedule in there, 
  • When are you going to the gym?
  • Are you going to walk? 
  • When are you going to go to the grocery store? 
  • When are you going to rest? 
  • When are you going to bed?

5-10 minutes a day once you get going on that. Know what you want and what you don’t want. Be intentional. What is it that you do want? What don’t you want? Because you are going to have to learn how to say no to anything that doesn’t align with your path and your goals.

That is intentionality. It’s a responsibility and accountability. A lot of us shy away from that. We just go with the flow. See what happens. I don’t want to be a bother. I don’t want to fail. So I’m not going to be intentional. I’m just going to see what happens. 

Well guess what happens. We don’t lose weight. So be intentional. Be reminding yourself of what you want, why you want it and plan for it. 

7) You will have to give yourself some good old fashioned pep talks. 

I know that sounded so corny, but you will. Just like you would cheer or root on a friend, a child, a spouse, or a coworker. 

  • You’re doing great,
  • You got this, 
  • Go get them. 
  • You can do it. 

You have to do that for yourself. 

I know a lot of you are always helping other people. If you want weight loss, to not suck, you’re going to have to give yourself a pep talk. You will. You’re gonna have to put on a brave face, look yourself in the mirror and be like, you got this. This isn’t a problem. You can lose weight. It’s happening for you. 

8) Go slow to go fast. 

This concept actually came to me. And I’ve probably taken artistic license with it. I kind of got it for my kids doing ninja. They have to go from one obstacle to the next obstacle. You want to go fast. It is a timed event. But if you go too fast, and you let your body sort of get ahead of your brain, you’re going to fall. You’re going to step out of bounds. You’re not going to complete the obstacle.You went too fast. So sometimes you have to slow down 

With weight loss, I know we want it now. We want to lose five pounds every day. We want to lose 10 pounds a week. We want to lose our 50 pounds in six weeks. But that is only going to come back. You’re going to gain all the weight. The faster you try to go, the more you trade, the more muscle you’re going to lose, the harder this is going to be. 

If you want weight loss to not suck, let it be a little slow. Not frozen in time, you’re not stuck. But if you want to lose body fat and you want to keep muscle, you’re going to have to feed your body. You’re going to have to prioritize nutrition. You’re going to have to take care of your body versus starve your body. This is going to pay off.

Imagine if we had always just adopted this idea of slow and steady wins the race. Maybe you lost two or three pounds a month, but never gained it back. We just kept going rather than lose 20 pounds every two or three months only to regain it and in the course of a year gain and lose 20, 30, 40, 50 pounds. 

There’s nothing wrong with going slow. Ultimately, it helps you go fast. And it helps you keep the weight off. 

9) Sometimes you have to embrace the suck. 

This is the reality when it comes to wanting easy weight loss, or easier weight loss, sometimes it is going to suck. Sometimes it won’t be fun. It’s not fun to always say no or just to go to bed when I want cookies. Sometimes we have a little temper tantrum, a hissy fit, we stomp our foot, we think that’s not fair, we freak out. It’s okay. That’s just your brain doing its brain thing. 

Your brain does not want to lose weight. Your brain wants to make every moment in life, a party. With food, with alcohol, with drugs, with sex, with whatever it can find. That’s just what our brains do. So sometimes you have to be the bigger person here. You have to say okay, sometimes we’re gonna do things we don’t want to do. Sometimes we’re gonna go to the gym when we don’t feel like it. Sometimes we’re going to eat eggs when  wasn’t in the mood for eggs. I wanted Froot Loops. Too fucking bad, right? Sometimes you’d have to embrace the suck. 

If your kids were like, we’re not gonna have orange juice, we’re gonna have beer, you’d have to put your foot down. That’s okay. It feels like it sucks. It’s temporary. 

10) Just get help, get a coach. 

I didn’t get to where I got to, and again, not in a straight line. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs, but get help. You don’t have to get help from me. You can get help locally.

Get help at a gym. You can have somebody show you the machine or write a workout for you. You can get help, just by reaching out to people in your family and telling them, Hey, this is really important to me. You don’t always have to get a coach. 

If you’re thinking, I’m ready for this. I’m ready to change. I’m done thinking about weight loss, trying weight loss on my own, and I want to do it in a more permanent way where I can learn how to include all the foods instead of the next diet, the next fad, the next lose 20 pounds and find 25 afterwards, I invite you to work with me inside Self Made 

If you are not ready to make that commitment to yourself. That is okay. That is totally fine. I have a free group. Please join me over on Facebook; Food, Fitness, Fat Loss for Real Life is a great group. There’s like over 5000 women and anything that you need, you’ll probably find even recipes, which I’ve decided I’m against, but there are some in there. You can ask questions. We have lots of free training. I think you’ll like it. 


Bonnie Lefrak is a Life & Body Transformation Expert and Founder of Self Made, a program designed to help you tackle the physical aspects of health and weight loss as well as the beliefs and thoughts that drive our habits and behaviors. It is her goal to help women create certainty in their own lives, their own results, and their own abilities.

Weight loss is not about the one “right” diet – it is about MUCH more than that. Weight loss is not about the one “right” workout. Weight loss is not about being positive and putting a big smile on.

Weight loss is about FEELINGS. All of them. Not trying to bury them or hide from them but knowing and allowing the full human experience. Weight loss is not about grinding hustling and will powering your way to some end line. Transformation (when done well) is done from the inside out.

By addressing both the physical and mental aspects of dieting and weight loss, she has coached thousands of women ages 30-55+ from all over and helped them ditch the mindsets that are holding them back, achieve permanent weight loss, and get the bangin’ body of their dreams.

Bonnie is an expert at Demystifying weight loss. She helps you u****k your diet brain. She is on a mission to help women love themselves, to find PEACE in the process of losing weight, taking care of themselves, and leveraging the power they do have to become who and want they want right now.

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