A New Way to Lose Weight?

by | Jan 9, 2023

I thought to myself. What can I do to help women lose weight once and for all? To get that life and body that they want? To feel confident as f*ck in anything, be it a bathing suit, a sequined jumpsuit, or your birthday suit. And how can I uncomplicate that weight loss process at the same time?

Welcome to Self Made Society!

It is a brand-new membership program. I’m inviting you to join. Self Made Society is a recurring membership. You can stay for as long as you want. There is no time limit. If you want to bounce after a month, you can. If you want to stay for a million months, you can. 

Every month I’ll be dropping new information into the member portal. It is going to be a living, breathing organism where you can get more resources. Everything in the member portal is available to you 24/7. There will be videos, worksheets, and a private Facebook group where I will be there live to chat with you. We’ll have actual coaching calls. You can join a Zoom and ask me anything you want, within reason. 

I’m super excited about this because I want to make weight loss easy and accessible for everyone.

Whether you are somebody who really loves using that new map or you like Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem, Keto, high carb, low carb, Paleo, primal, vegan, vegetarian, it really doesn’t matter. My philosophy is that there is no one right diet. There is no one size fits all. 

There’s no right or wrong. It’s really about what works for you. What is going to be sustainable for you? What is enjoyable for you? Along the way, maybe that changes. It isn’t so much about any of those particular types of diets or programs. What happens for all of us is that we get into this awareness phase, when we really look at “why can’t I lose weight?” Some of it is: 

  • I’m overeating and then I’m restricting. 
  • I’m over-exercising, and then I’m binging.
  • I’m not really aware of when I’m mindlessly eating.

Weight loss is about feelings and not trying to bury or hide from them. That doesn’t work. Knowing and allowing that full human experience. When weight loss is done well, it is really done from the inside out.

Here’s how it works.

As soon as you sign up for Self Made, you’re going to get an email and access to a member portal. There we will have training ready and waiting for you on workout and exercise. We have “How To Build Your Food Matrix.” This guide breaks down how to plan your day for food very simply. No matter how you eat, or what you eat, I’m bringing it to Self Made Society to make it accessible to more women. You can see how you can eat right and make it so simple. We have worked hard and have all the bonus materials. 

I will be going live in Self Made Society.

You could decide to watch the Zoom coaching calls on Facebook if you don’t want to participate on the call. We have a very active Facebook group that gives you bite-sized chunks. Even if you never went into the member portal, you’d get a lot of great information that way. All of the coaching calls that we are doing will be put into a private podcast for you, too. So it’s super easy when you go for a walk or drive to plug in that way.

I’m not a person who can sit down at my desk and watch a video. I have the attention span of a goldfish. So if you’re wondering, “Is this for me? Is Bonnie talking to me?” I am talking to you! No excuses. It’s time to take action!

Let me break it down.

If you’re DONE struggling, this is for you! I know the struggle is real. The reason the struggle is real is because we keep it real. We keep it as a living organism. We talk about our struggles. It’s part of our story. It sounds crazy, but it is hard to let go of that.

I’m just going to put it out there:

  • Are you done with your struggle? 
  • Are you done trying to figure shit out and failing? 
  • Are you done hating what and who you see in the mirror or photos?
  • Are you ready and willing to let go of all the old diet BS? 
  • Are you ready and willing to show up for yourself? 
  • Are you someone who’s ready and willing to be uncomfortable? 
  • Are you ready and willing to take responsibility for your actions and your future? 
  • Are you ready and willing to prioritize yourself? 
  • Do you want to feel challenged, supported, and accountable? 
  • Are you ready to invest your time and energy into yourself? 
  • Do you want to develop a healthy relationship with food, the scale, exercise, and yourself? 
  • Have you already tried all the things? 
  • Are you a woman who wants to lose five to 100 plus pounds? 
  • Are you a woman who’s looking for the tools and community that could improve every aspect of your life? 
  • Are you ready to do epic shit with a group of badass women? 

This is NOT for you IF:

  • You want to continue to play the victim. 
  • You’re satisfied with being uncomfortable in your own skin.
  • You’d rather keep trying to achieve your goals alone and keep failing.
  • You’re not ready to take personal responsibility for your own actions. 
  • You’re not willing to support other women on their weight loss journey. 
  • You don’t actually want to lose weight permanently. 

When it comes to making decisions, we spend a lot of time thinking:

  • This sounds interesting. 
  • I’m thinking about it. 
  • It’s not the right time. 
  • Maybe that would be good. 
  • I’d like to work on this.
  • I’ll try it again later. 
  • Now is not a good time. 

Don’t waffle in indecision.

When we do that, we think it keeps us safe. What it really does is it stalls our progress. We don’t actually move forward. It’s another thing to keep track of. It’s another bookmark. It’s another reminder, another post-it note of something I need to be working on. Something I need to do in the future. 

Instead, just make the decision. If you want to lose weight, let’s do this! 

Self Made Society is super easy and affordable. It is live and already very active. We’re just waiting for you to come on in! Sign up at ​​https://bonnielefrak.com/self-made-society/.

You can use the promo code Bonnie37. It gets you your first month of Self Made Society for $37. Yep, that’s it. $37 for you and me to hang out. After that, it will be $57 a month, so you are saving $20 on your first month. 

What is happening right now in Self Made Society? 

I asked a question that you’ve heard me ask before. What’s in the way of your weight loss? This is a great way to dig into what’s really going on. There are already 60 or 70 comments in that thread. People have plenty to say about what they think is in their way. Here are a few of their responses so far:

1) Night-time eating. 

This is a big one. The woman who posted this response then came on to the coaching call, which was great because I could just ask her questions about it. She told me, “It’s my time.” Three words. It’s a complete sentence. She’s probably had this thought for 20 or 30 years. “It’s my time.” 

Why is it her time? She’s been at work all day in the healthcare field. It’s very busy. She comes home, takes a shower, and it’s the end of the day. It’s dark, it’s cold, and she’s tired. It’s just the right time to sit down and treat yourself and get a reward. 

You might recognize this in yourself. The thought might not be exactly the same. It might be:

  • I deserve this time.
  • I did well all day. 
  • I just need a break. 
  • I just need to relax. 

I think it is really important to recognize, whether it happens for you at three o’clock in the afternoon or eight at night. This is the time. We all have this sort of witching hour or something that triggers this. It’s at the end of the day, and indeed we are tired, it is okay to be tired. 

You want to make sure that you check in with yourself. 

Are you actually hungry? If you are, by all means, sit down and have a meal. If you’re at work all day and you haven’t eaten, let’s sit down at a table with a chair, no distractions, and have a meal. When we’re doing this at night, and we are trying to comfort ourselves, we’re trying to give ourselves that reward, we could end up eating 200/500/1000 extra calories. 

When we are not hungry, we’ve already eaten, and we are just using food for comfort, to relax, to get away for you know, to be like treating ourselves. It’s definitely something to take a look at. I like to start by figuring out what that thought is, and then go from there. With my client here, “it’s my time,” we are working on that. 

2) All-or-nothing mindset.

This is a big one! Especially, if you think about the diet world. It is kind of an all or nothing situation. You follow this diet, 100%. Do everything I tell you to do. Eat these foods, not that. Everything is either a yes, or a no. All or nothing. As soon as we have a bite of something else, our brains make it mean that we have failed. 

Breaking down the all-or-nothing mindset takes a little bit of time. It can be scary because what happens with an all-or-nothing mindset is that our brains think we can’t lose weight. That’s really what it comes down to. That gray area, that in-between space, feels very uncertain. Some of this is pulling apart the thoughts that lead up to the behavior and some of this is practicing new ways of showing up without having that view of what foods are good or what foods are bad. 

3) Fear that I can’t lose weight. 

Fear is a feeling that many women try to avoid feeling. Nobody likes to feel afraid, embarrassed, worried, or ashamed, right? All of these things that come up around fear of not being able to keep the weight off or not being able to lose the weight. There are many different ways fear shows up. Fear of actually losing the weight. Regaining the weight. Or even, if I lose weight, what will people say?

I’d really tap into why. What are you afraid of feeling? What is the fear? What is wonderful about a membership, where we do coaching, is that we get to talk about it. We get to figure it out for you. 

4) I make bad choices because I lack organization and food prep.

I want to assure you that lack of organization and lack of food prep, although not necessarily helpful, are not reasons that you can’t make the choices you want to make. Is it helpful to have food prep? Oh, heck, yeah. It is very helpful because when you’re hungry, you’re hungry.

It’s helpful if you can get even one meal prepped. If you cook dinner tonight and you can make one extra meal out of that for tomorrow, you’re winning. I am not an organized person. If you open my refrigerator, it’s not going to be 20 beautiful glass containers of prepped food. It is easy to think, if I could do the food prep or be more organized, this would be better. 

You can make whatever food choices you want, no matter what. You can be aware that there are thoughts.The thought is because I lack organization and/or I lack food prep, therefore I make bad choices. Those are thoughts, not facts. 

5) Feelings.

I told you weight loss is all about feelings. What’s beautiful is many people inside Self Made Society are starting to listen. All kinds of feelings came up; boredom, avoidance, anger, procrastination, and more avoidance. Avoidance is common. Often we’re going to open the refrigerator, look on the shelves, then decide to go out and get something to eat. If I can eat food, then I get to avoid any other feelings and avoid doing things I have to do. I could just eat or drink.

It’s really important to look at whatever feelings are coming up for you. 

Ask yourself:

  • Why is this a problem?
  • Why is it a problem to be bored? 
  • Why is it a problem to be angry? 
  • Why is it a problem to procrastinate? 

I think you can procrastinate and avoid doing things. I don’t think that’s a problem. I think it’s a good time to go for a walk or stand in the bathroom and look in the mirror. Have a chat with yourself or listen to some music and dance in your bedroom. You might need to plan some procrastination. You might need to plan more rest. You might need to give yourself a mental break. It’s okay. 

I know, as women, we’re the multitasking queens of the universe. We’re doing 8 million things at once. We’re proud of that and we want to always be doing it. We’re doing things for others. We’re taking care of the house and the dog and the bills and this and that. We do it all and it’s okay to rest. 

Notice when you’re having these feelings. 

I would really get curious as to what is driving them. If you’re not sure, I do a little thing called a thought download. Get out a piece of paper and a pen, and just whatever is coming to your mind, put it on paper. Get it out of your head and on the paper. It doesn’t matter if it makes any sense. It doesn’t matter if it’s not very nice. F*ck being nice. Just get it out of your head. Get some distance on it. 

There’s nothing wrong with being angry. I know we’re kind of conditioned to think that you shouldn’t be angry. You should be nice. You should say nice things. You should think about other people. You should be polite. You shouldn’t think about those things. But that’s not really true. 

Being a human, and having that full human experience, means our brain is going to offer us many different things. The best way to get a handle on all of that is not to eat or drink our feelings. It is to acknowledge them. Be okay with them. See what they’re all about.

What if you are angry? See what it’s all about. What really happens in your body? I know it feels like you’re seeing red, or your ears get hot, or your head feels like it’s going to pop off, or you feel like you got punched in their stomach. Truthfully, it doesn’t last that long. Put it on paper and see what comes up for you. 

6) Consistency. 

What is in the way of my weight loss consistency? This is a huge one, and it’s under the umbrella of all-or-nothing thinking. We have this idea that consistency means being perfect every day. Going for the hour walk and doing the weight training and drinking the eight glasses of water and eating the three meals with protein and vegetables. This is the perfect day…the perfect life. That’s not realistic.

Consistency is really the smaller things. What can I do consistently? It’s kind of like saying I want to run a marathon every single day. It’s just not going to be feasible. 

Consistency is showing up for yourself, your feelings, and your goals. Knowing what you want, why you want it, and doing something towards that. That’s it. That’s consistency. If you want to lose weight, what are you doing towards that goal today? Did you drink some water? Did you go for a walk? Did you have some protein? Little things add up. 

7) I hate cooking.

I hate cooking, too. To be honest, we had our kitchen redone at the end of 2018, and I have not cooked one meal in there. That was a long time ago. I hate cooking. I really just don’t like it. It’s time-consuming. I’m not interested in it. Don’t get me wrong. I love eating. 

What do I do when I don’t like cooking? I think a lot about food assembly.  I can make a salad. I can buy all the components. I can cook protein. I make a lot of hard-boiled eggs to be quite honest. I’ll open a can of tuna. I will get a rotisserie chicken. I’ll do all the things that are easy. 

Here in Massachusetts, there’s a local food company called Feast and Federal. I will occasionally order from them. They bring me salads. I’ll go to Trader Joe’s and I’ll buy salads. I know it’s like do you only eat salads? No, not always. I make sandwiches. I make roll-ups. I do a lot of different things. 

I just make food easy. 

I really do. I really don’t enjoy cooking. I only tell you this because you don’t have to like cooking in order to meet your goals and lose weight. Many of us are super busy and just don’t have hours to spend in the kitchen. That is okay. 

Think about making a plan. If you have time on Saturday or Sunday to start thinking, what am I going to do? Am I gonna go to the grocery store? Am I going to hit a salad bar? Am I going to hit the local Panera or Chipotle?

It is less expensive to cook your own food. Think about the time and money that also goes into it. I have to drive to the store and park at the store and navigate the store and check out of the store and bring all the bags in and chop up all the shit and clean up my fucking kitchen. All that stuff. That’s all time and money, too. I’m always looking for the easiest thing I can do.

8) Food and willpower.

Many times we think what’s in the way of our weight loss is our temptations, cravings, trigger foods, and urges. To be fair, those could be in our way if we are giving in to our urges. All we can use is willpower. It’s either to give in to the urge or try to muster the willpower. Interestingly enough, that sounds like all-or-nothing thinking. 

It is true that as humans, we have to eat food. Food is everywhere. You probably have food in your house. There might be food at your workplace. There’s food in a restaurant. Your kids have to eat food. Your dog eats food. It’s a food world. You’re not really going to escape food. 

That’s why we have to figure out how we want to eat. We want to plan our food ahead of time before we get hungry, triggered, and tired and make bad decisions. That’s the truth. 

By the end of the day, we’re going to have to pull out a lot of willpower, unless we’ve been working on another plan. Some of that is planning ahead. Making sure that we are eating during the day when we are hungry. That we’re not getting overly hungry. That we’re really checking in with ourselves to know when we’re hungry. To have a plan of what we are going to eat. When we notice a temptation or a craving or an urge, just let it pass. 

When we decide to lose weight, we gain awareness.

That’s really what happens when we feel like we have to pull out the willpower. We never really addressed the reasons why I’m overeating. All we’ve been trying to do is just not do it. Obviously, that doesn’t work. There are going to be times when you are just too tired. Your willpower is out of gas. It’s done. It’s empty. Sometimes the only thing behind the cravings is that it becomes habituated. I find it interesting when people say, “It’s just a habit” as if that didn’t come from some emotion down the line. 

I sincerely hope you’ll join me in Self Made Society. 

Sign up at ​​https://bonnielefrak.com/self-made-society/. You can use the promo code Bonnie37. It gets you your first month of Self Made Society for $37. Yep, that’s it. $37 for you and me to hang out. After that, it will be $57 a month, so you are saving $20 on your first month.


I thought to myself. What can I do to help women lose weight once and for all? To get that life and body that they want? To feel confident as f*ck in anything, be it a bathing suit, a sequined jumpsuit, or your birthday suit. And how can I uncomplicate that weight loss process at the same time?


Bonnie Lefrak is a Life & Body Transformation Expert and Founder of Self Made, a program designed to help you tackle the physical aspects of health and weight loss as well as the beliefs and thoughts that drive our habits and behaviors. It is her goal to help women create certainty in their own lives, their own results, and their own abilities.

Weight loss is not about the one “right” diet – it is about MUCH more than that. Weight loss is not about the one “right” workout. Weight loss is not about being positive and putting a big smile on. Weight loss is about FEELINGS. All of them. Not trying to bury them or hide from them but knowing and allowing the full human experience.

Weight loss is not about grinding hustling and will powering your way to some end line. Transformation (when done well) is done from the inside out.

By addressing both the physical and mental aspects of dieting and weight loss, she has coached thousands of women ages 30-55+ from all over and helped them ditch the mindsets that are holding them back, achieve permanent weight loss, and get the bangin’ body of their dreams.

Bonnie is an expert at Demystifying weight loss. She helps you unf*ck your diet brain.

She is on a mission to help women love themselves, to find PEACE in the process of losing weight, taking care of themselves, and leveraging the power they do have to become who and want they want right now.

Connect with Bonnie-

Facebook Group- https://www.facebook.com/groups/707942356603835

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/bonnielefrak/

Website- https://bonnielefrak.com

Application- https://bonnielefrak.com/application

Email- bonnie@bonnielefrak.com

With Bonnie Lefrak


Weight Loss Without The Bullsh*t