“WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?” Most of you probably have said this to yourself before. You know what to do, but you’re just not doing it. You have the tools. You know what to eat. But you’re still left wondering:
- “How come I can’t lose weight?”
- “Why don’t I have any willpower?”
- “Why isn’t this working?”
- “Why is this so hard?”
- “WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!”
Let’s figure out some new ways to look at this age-old problem from a different angle.
In the land of coaching, you might expect a personal trainer or a weight loss coach, to tell you what to do.
They tell you what to eat, how much to eat, when to eat, what food to eat, what exercises to do, how much to do, and all the things to do to make the scale go down. We don’t really need to be told what to do, or what to eat. Most of you probably have said to yourself, “ I know what to do, but I’m just not doing it. I have the tools and I know what to eat.”
Having a coach tell you over and over, “eat this and not that” is good while your motivation is high and your calendar is clear. That’s all easy. Just eat this. It’s like being a robot. I always joke that my best clients are robots. They don’t have any feelings. They don’t have emotions. They don’t do people things. They just do exactly what I say they eat exactly what I tell them. No more, no less.
But the reality is coaching is about asking better questions.
It’s helping you get to the answers you already have. Oftentimes, the thoughts we have going around and around and around in our heads are just the same perpetual thoughts. It’s not all new individual unique thoughts because our heads would explode. It’s a lot of the same stuff.
- How come I can’t lose weight?
- Why don’t I have any willpower?
- Why isn’t this working?
- Why is this so hard?
- What the f*ck is wrong with me?
Does this sound familiar? This is what happens in our self-talk. Your brain is going to try to answer with things like:
- You don’t have any willpower.
- You’re not disciplined
- You don’t have motivation.
- You must not want it enough.
- You’re not smart enough.
- You don’t have the right answer.
- You probably have the wrong diet.
- You’re just an idiot.
That is why weight loss for most people is not long-term.
That’s why the data shows that 97% of people who lose weight will put it back on within two to three years. For real, it’s not because they’re eating the wrong carbs. It’s because of that endless soundtrack. Those are not helpful questions.
You cannot let your brain be on the runaway train to nowhere!
It’s a dead end! That’s why we find ourselves quitting over and over. If I walk around all day thinking what the f*ck is wrong with me, and my brain comes up with 20,000 things that are wrong with me, I’m not going to have motivation. I’m not going to try to dig into my discipline. As the owner of my brain, I’m not going to let it run wild.
Here are some things we could ask ourselves that are more helpful:
1) How can I hold myself accountable? This could be with weight loss goals, meal plans, etc. How many times have you said, “I need someone to hold me accountable”? The truth is, you can hold yourself accountable.
2) What am I committed to? Weight loss? Figuring it out? Or are your weight loss goals conditional?
3) What are my goals? Have you ever really written out your goals for the week/month/year? Do you really know what the goals are? If your goal is to lose weight, that’s really vague. Our brains aren’t going to do anything with that.
4) Why are these my goals? Why do I want to lose weight? We think we want to lose weight because we want to fit into our clothes, or whatever, but we have to go deeper than that. Keep asking why.
5) How can I overcome obstacles? It’s just a flip of questions instead of why can’t I overcome obstacles? How can I do it? How can I expect to have obstacles and come up with a plan B and A Plan C? Expect the unexpected!
6) How can this be easy? How can I make weight loss easy today? Instead of saying, Why isn’t this easy? Why is it so hard? Why is it not working? What the f*ck is wrong with me? How could this be easy?
It’s because of the negative bias of our own mind that you are thinking you have to be perfect.
Thinking that you need all of this discipline and motivation all the time. Really it is looking for ways that you can enjoy the process, make it easier, and for ways that you can overcome obstacles, and be committed to your goals even if it’s not perfect. You don’t have to quit and you don’t have to gain the weight back.
Training your brain to ask better questions will be a game-changer.
When you start to get answers about how you can hold yourself accountable, what you are committed to, and how you can make it easy, then you start to lay the foundation to get real results. You cannot get long term weight loss results in the beat-up club.
That is not going to give you the results that you’re looking for. When you can start shifting some of the ways you think and the ways you ask yourself questions, you are also shifting who you are.
Part of permanent weight loss is creating that next level you!
It’s about creating your highest and best self. Make the shifts so that you start thinking differently. It means that you will start behaving differently, you will start feeling differently, and that is going to give you what you’re looking for.
NOTES IN ANCHOR
“WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?” Most of you probably have said this to yourself before. You know what to do, but you’re just not doing it. You have the tools. You know what to eat. But you’re still left wondering:
“How come I can’t lose weight?”
“Why don’t I have any willpower?”
“Why isn’t this working?”
“Why is this so hard?”
“WHAT THE F*CK IS WRONG WITH ME?!?!”
Let’s figure out some new ways to look at this age-old problem from a different angle.
ABOUT THE HOST
Bonnie Lefrak is a Life & Body Transformation Expert and Founder of Self Made, a program designed to help you tackle the physical aspects of health and weight loss as well as the beliefs and thoughts that drive our habits and behaviors. It is her goal to help women create certainty in their own lives, their own results, and their own abilities.
Weight loss is not about the one “right” diet – it is about MUCH more than that. Weight loss is not about the one “right” workout. Weight loss is not about being positive and putting a big smile on. Weight loss is about FEELINGS. All of them. Not trying to bury them or hide from them but knowing and allowing the full human experience.
Weight loss is not about grinding hustling and will powering your way to some end line. Transformation (when done well) is done from the inside out.
By addressing both the physical and mental aspects of dieting and weight loss, she has coached thousands of women ages 30-55+ from all over and helped them ditch the mindsets that are holding them back, achieve permanent weight loss, and get the bangin’ body of their dreams.
Bonnie is an expert at Demystifying weight loss. She helps you unf*ck your diet brain.
She is on a mission to help women love themselves, to find PEACE in the process of losing weight, taking care of themselves, and leveraging the power they do have to become who and want they want right now.
Connect with Bonnie-
Facebook Group- https://www.facebook.com/groups/707942356603835
Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/bonnielefrak/
Website- https://bonnielefrak.com
Application- https://bonnielefrak.com/application
Email- bonnie@bonnielefrak.com
