Let’s Lose 10 Pounds

by | May 7, 2024

I’m inviting you to lose 10 pounds with me. Specifically me. You and I, working together on losing 10 pounds. 

1) What I mean when I say, lose 10 pounds. 

Something that I thought was really surprising was when I asked a question in my free Facebook group. I posed it like this, “Hey, I’m a genie, I can grant you a wish. And you have to choose either to lose 10 pounds of body fat or gain 10 pounds of muscle.” Now, I was sure every single person or at least the majority of women would say, I want to lose 10 pounds of body fat because after all, my group is Food Fitness and Fat Loss for Women Over 40. The group is about weight loss. 

As you probably could guess, what happened was a lot of people said they wanted 10 pounds of muscle. I thought this was so interesting for all the right reasons. Inside my group and on my podcast, I talk a lot about the value of muscle. I often say that muscle is currency, it is money in the bank, it is your insurance policy to have a great metabolism, to not be a frail old woman who falls down and dies, literally. I was just surprised. I really thought helping me lose body fat was going to win out. Turns out, sometimes I am just wrong. I don’t know everything. 

That was a great question and now I’ll ask you, I can grant you a wish, you can choose 10 pounds of muscle, so you would add 10 pounds of muscle to your current body? Or take 10 pounds of body fat off your current body? 

2) Weight loss versus fat loss. 

That’s what it comes down to: weight loss versus fat loss. We’re really talking about a different body composition. In fact, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard this term or seen it, it’s a recomposition or a recomp. You’re taking your current body, you are trying to lose body fat and you’re trying to hold and build muscle at the same time. What happens a lot in dieting and in weight loss and in riding the scale, and I’ll get to the scale in a moment, is that we become just obsessed with a number going down. 

I don’t know if you’ve seen this in yourself, or you’ve seen this in someone else. They lose weight and they just look like a smaller version of themselves, but you’re not seeing muscle definition. You’re not seeing somebody with a new toned body. You’re just kind of seeing Wow, okay. You’ve probably heard it said this way before, skinny fat. We can easily lose muscle mass, our bodies are so uniquely designed, so beautifully designed to make survival easier. It’s a lot easier to take protein or amino acids out of our muscles, than tap into body fat stores. 

I talk about weight loss all the time. Probably every single title of my podcast is something about weight loss. But when I think about weight loss, to be perfectly honest, it is fat loss. Especially for me. I don’t use a scale. I am always thinking about what I need to do in order to have the best body composition. Because I am not going to measure my success by a scale. I measure my success by what I see in the mirror. From what I see when I put on my clothes. How do my clothes fit? 

With body recomposition, you can look like you’ve lost 20 pounds, but the scale doesn’t necessarily reflect that. I think this is an important conversation. I’m talking about let’s lose 10 pounds, I mean generically, let’s just look like we lost 10 pounds of body fat. It could be that we lost five pounds of body fat, and we gained five pounds of muscle. That’s not going to be a 10 pound loss on the scale. However, we’re going to look pretty good. That’s going to be a big positive addition to our overall physique. 

3) The Scale

The scale will fluctuate, it will. It’s not always going to go down. Even when you follow a restrictive diet. You’re;

  • Following a deficit to the number. 
  • Cutting calories. 
  • Doing more workouts, 
  • Drinking the water, 
  • Sleeping the sleep,
  • Taking the supplements, 
  • Doing all the things. 

And guess what. As a woman, especially because our hormones are always fluctuating, we’re not always going to see the scale go down. It is going to sometimes stay the same or go up. It will fluctuate. 

I know from years of dieting myself, but more so working with 1000s of women and creating so many different plans, that most people mentally feel like they need that quick fix. We need to see the scale go down that first week. In fact, we always expect that first week to be that really big number. When it’s not, something bad has happened. 

Here’s the thing. Right now, without my help, you could make the scale go down. You could take out all the carbs from your diet, and a lot of you probably have done that for a long time. You can take out all the carbs. Other things you could do to make the scale go down, you could get the stomach bug or a tapeworm. You could get in a sauna. You could take a diuretic. You could just starve. You could cut off a body part. You could do a lot of things to make the scale go down. 

I really understand that we, as females, have a lot of diet history and beliefs around the scale. Some of them are just as simple as needing this scale to go down in order for me to stay motivated. That’s a belief, right? That’s something that our brain tells us. As long as the scale is going down, then this is working, and you’re good. You’re doing well. This is the reason to keep going. When we don’t see the scale go down. That’s when we think, why am I doing this? This is an awful lot of work. It’s not working. I shouldn’t bother and all of that. 

I urge you to catch those moments. Catch them on paper. Then you’ll have more clarity and awareness. Some of them are kind of like, what? I really believe that I need the scale to go down  in order for me to feel good? Really? That’s what my whole life has come down to? In order for me to be happy or satisfied or feel successful, the number on the scales go down? That’s where we know we have to do the work. 

We’re never going to be happy, the scale is always going to fluctuate, We’re going to constantly be chasing a number on the scale. I call this chasing lean. It’s kind of like chasing a ghost or chasing the idea of being fit. I’m at a certain weight, then I’ll be happy, then my life will be perfect. I will have made it. All of my problems are gone. 

We can get to any certain number. The bigger picture is how do I maintain that? How do I stay there? That’s why I’ve created the coaching programs I have. That’s why I created my podcast. I didn’t want to just tell you how to lose weight. I can. All different kinds of ways. I want to be able to help you keep it off. That’s the bigger problem to solve. There are so many diets that you can follow and get the scale to go down. But how do we keep that going? How do we lose body fat, keep the muscle, and still have a life? 

I’m not telling you to throw your scale away. I’m not telling you to beat yourself up when you have these thoughts. They’re just things we’ve thought of before. We just have to unwind it a little bit, put it on paper, and poke holes in it. Ask yourself what else could be true about this? Otherwise it does feel like we’re always in search of the next dopamine hit of the scale going down. We become addicted to needing to see that number and that is all that matters. 

I know for myself, and I’m sure I’ve mentioned this, I eventually got rid of the scale because that’s what I was doing. I was using the scale religiously, every Sunday morning. Some of the things along the way that I found is that when I tried to incorporate a cheat meal on a Sunday, it turned into a whole day of overeating. Which then brought me into a Monday of feeling awful. My blood sugar was all over the place, my stomach was a mess, and it took me out of two days of really being into probably a good fat burning mode. Psychologically, it was really messing me up. 

When I actually decided not to use the scale anymore, I was pregnant. I was obviously getting on the scale at the doctor’s office, but I was just like, hey, I’m not interested, I’m gonna get on backwards, don’t tell me etc. Through six or seven months of my pregnancy, I was using the scale, because I was afraid of gaining too much weight. Because I had a first pregnancy, which didn’t go the distance, but I had gained a lot of weight. So I was really paranoid that I would gain a lot of weight and I wanted to have a little bit of control. I remember the day that I got on the scale, and I’m six or seven months pregnant with twins. The scale said something like 189 and I was like, I’m probably just gonna keep gaining weight from here on out. I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know why I’m doing this. I’m healthy. I’ve come this far. I didn’t gain a lot of weight, my first trimester. That was my goal. I feel in control. I don’t know what this is really doing for me. To be honest, I never went back to the scale. 

The year leading up to my pregnancy I was just consumed with it. I was playing all kinds of games. I would pick the scale up, and I move it to all different parts of my bathroom. Let’s try the hardwood floor. Let’s try the cement. Like should I bring this scale out to the driveway? Like what am I doing here? This is ridiculous.

To make the scale go down I would do hot power yoga on Saturdays, knowing that I was going to weigh myself on Sunday. Here’s the funny thing. I’m just weighing myself. For me. I was reporting my weight and my progress to a coach. It was never like the coach was admonishing me or telling me I needed to lose weight faster, or I’m doing it wrong. I just became obsessed with making the scale go down. It did not help me. It was sort of silly.

I look back and I’m like, I was beating myself up for it. Also my scale goal was a really low number. I had it in my mind that I needed to weigh a certain amount. To be honest, yeah, I got there, but it wasn’t really sustainable. Unless I wanted to diet that hard all the time. 

If you’re obsessed with the scale, I’ve been there. How I changed that is that I just focused on the actions I needed to take in order to look the way I wanted to look. That is it. I realized I didn’t need a number on the scale. And PS, I’m five foot nine. I am not a skinny mini. I think a lot of us grew up thinking the ideal weight for a woman is like 130 pounds or some low number but I mean, me at 150 pounds is pretty small. People would ask me, are you competing? You look shredded at that weight. So I’ve always kind of accepted that I’m not going to be a light person and that’s not a problem. I just want to look a certain way. That’s it. I want to fit into my clothes. I want to have a certain aesthetic. 

If you see me, you would think she works out. That’s it. I want to look like I work out. That’s it. I don’t even work out the same amount I used to work out. You know why? Because I’m older. I have arthritis. I don’t have the interest or the time to be in the gym five and six days a week for hours. And you don’t have to do that in order to get results. That was probably more about me than you care to hear about but I think sometimes it’s helpful to understand I’m not sitting here from my throne judging. 

One of the things I noticed with some of my clients who were like, Yeah, I’m not going to use the scale, it just makes me upset. It just depresses me. That wasn’t my problem. The scale didn’t do anything to me. It was me trying to manipulate the scale, working out, and walking every single day for 70 to 75 minutes. I was doing too much. I was probably stressing my body out when I think about it.

4) How I would plan to lose 10 pounds right now.

I talk about it all the time. Asking people about their goals, their weight goals, what do they weigh now? What would they like to weigh? When did they weigh that last? And I think about how to lose 10 pounds or how to help you lose 10 pounds.

I always talk about weight but I really am talking about how to look like you lost 10 pounds of body fat, or look like you had a body recomposition. Maybe you weigh the exact same amount. The scale says the same thing, but you look drastically different because you lost body fat. You built muscle. We did both of those things. We had a recomposition. That makes it so much better than just making the scale go down and just becoming a smaller version of ourselves and losing hard earned muscle. Because it is hard earned. 

You’re not going to build muscle accidentally, you’re not going to build it overnight. Even for those ladies out there who tell me I build muscle really easily. Hey, you know what, maybe when you’re 35, maybe when you’re 40. But as you become 45, 46, 49, 50 and so on, that becomes less easy. Unless you’re on hormone replacement therapy.

How would I plan to lose the “10 pounds?” Simple meals, really simple. Not trying to get too far into recipes. Automate as much as I can. Meaning I’m going to have two or three different breakfasts, tops. Two or three different lunches. Two or three different dinners, and rotate that stuff all the time. Whatever kind of snack, or if I need that fourth meal, maybe it’s just a fourth meal. 

I personally think snacks are a slippery slope. Just the word snack makes me think of a handful of crackers, a handful of cereal, a bite of this, a bite of that, some candy. Snacking like a kid. For me, it’s always been more helpful to think about having four meals. They don’t have to be all the same meals. They don’t have to be the same size meals. I need protein and then I’m probably going to have something else with that protein. I’m probably not just going to grab a hunk of meat and eat that by itself. Although I could in a pinch. If I have that chicken breast cut up in the baggie in my purse, damn straight I’m going to eat that. 

When I think of simple meals, I think of protein. Having quality protein whenever possible. Less quality might be deli meat or a protein shake or protein bar. I might still put those into rotation as well. Having your proteins cooked is really helpful by the way. 

If I want to lose weight, I want to make it as easy as I can for myself and make mealtime super simple. 

  • Have those burgers ready. 
  • Those meatballs.
  • That shredded chicken, 
  • The hard boiled eggs, 
  • Greek yogurt. 

Have everything I need. At least for a day. So today I have to think about tomorrow. I don’t have to think about the whole week. I don’t have to think about the whole month. I just have to ask myself, do I have enough protein for tomorrow? If I have to go to the grocery store for the next day, when am I going to do that? 

I don’t have to get into this mass meal prep and it’s like I’m a short order cook and all I’m doing is spending time in the kitchen. I cannot be bothered to do that to be honest with you. Which might mean that I also use local restaurants or meal services or something to shortcut it. If I go to the grocery store to buy the lettuce, I’m buying the bag lettuce, the salad kit, anything that’s already pre done, pre chopped. I’m a h*ll yes on that.

I would also really think about the best bang for my nutrition. How much real food can I actually get? I want to limit the processed food and up the real food. I’d also think about how I am adding fiber. One of the things that I think is pretty helpful for your overall hormone health, because I’m talking to women in their 40s and 50s. I want to add cruciferous vegetables whenever possible. So like a big cabbage salad, brussel sprouts, broccoli, or cauliflower. I want to have those kinds of vegetables. They’re very filling, they have fiber, but they also have properties that help you detoxify estrogens. The kind of estrogens I’m talking about are the things that we get from plastics, from pollution, and from our water supply. The things that I really don’t actually want clogging up my estrogen receptors in my body.

I also would not starve, that is just off the table for me. Some people really get into intermittent fasting, but it doesn’t work for everyone. Intermittent fasting can be an extra stress on your body. If you are intermittent fasting, and you’re not getting the results that you’re looking for, maybe step back. I honestly think eating your food in a 12 hour window is really helpful.  For example 7am to 7pm is when you’re getting calories. Then you have a 12 hour window where you’re not. 

That’s how I would plan to lose 10 pounds. You’re probably going to ask me, but Bonnie, how might I go faster? How can I lose weight faster? I will say, we can always make weight loss go faster or slower. We can because we’re talking about on the scale. Can I make fat loss go faster? I think that’s the real question. 

How can I make my fat loss go faster? 

Here’s some things that I would consider. 

Alcohol. Do you need to take a look at your alcohol consumption? Can you actually drink alcohol and still lose weight? Of course you can. Even though alcohol is obviously a toxin, has no nutrition, and is not good for you. It also lowers your inhibitions and makes you do silly things like f*cking eating, and other things that I think could with an F. I’d look at your alcohol. Is that something that you could reduce or take out for any amount of time? 

Sleep. If you want to lose body fat and keep it off, you want to make sure you have enough sleep and enough quality sleep. 

Steps. Look at you overall steps. I know for me, I sit a lot. I had to get one of those like little walking pads. Like a little baby treadmill. For some of my meetings, that’s what I’m going to do is I’m going to try to get more steps in.

Strength training. What are you currently doing now for strength training? If you’re not doing anything, good news, you’re gonna get a lot of bang for your buck by starting. You don’t have to start strength training every single day to start strength training. You just need to start with maybe two days a week. Then you might go to three, maybe four. Nobody needs to keep adding and adding and adding. You just want to be very efficient with your strength training to get the most bang for your buck. 

That’s how I go faster for my fat loss. 

If you are going to ask me, how I would lose 10 pounds. 

Or if you wanted to lose 10 pounds with me. Funny you should ask because I am inviting you to lose 10 pounds with me. I had some big revelations about my coaching programs. One of them I just don’t talk about enough. I really took a look and decided that this Society membership that I have. It used to be called the Self Made Society but then everybody got confused. I have my coaching program Self Made and then I have the Self Made Society. 

The Society is my membership program for women just like you. Why just like you? Because it is probably the next step. You’re in the podcast community. You’ve given me great write ups and reviews. You subscribe. I get messages all the time, DMS, emails that you’re getting results from the podcast. If you want to get the next level results and to keep going and to have access to all of the vault, everything that I have. The same philosophy that I teach in Self Made. I have a monthly membership. This is not just for membership but come now because on April 1, I am kicking off a Lose 10 Pounds in 30 Days. 

Here’s the deal. Some of you won’t lose 10 pounds in 30 days, but you’ll probably lose four or five. Then in subsequent months, we’re going to keep going with our weight loss. We’re going to learn how to sustain our weight loss. You can be a member inside the Society for as long as you want, with a minimum three month commitment. I’ve had clients in there for over a year and a half. The content is amazing. 

I’m gonna go in there every single month with a new exclusive masterclass. The one in April is going to be Monday, April 1. I’m going to give you, not just me talking to you like the podcast, you’re gonna get a plan, you’re gonna get a program that I wrote for my Society members, and I think you want to be one of them. 

It’s not expensive, it’s $57 a month. I’m holding that price right there even though I’ve had some teammates, including my bookkeeper and accountant that say I’m under charging for that. I’m really happy with that price point. We are not charging an enrollment fee. So now is a good time to get in. 

You get in in March, that way before April 1, you’re going to have your hands on a program I wrote just for the members. Be a member with me. Let’s keep working together. 

I hope you have a great week. Information about the society membership is down below. Ask me any questions you have and I will see you next week.


Bonnie Lefrak is a Life & Body Transformation Expert and Founder of Self Made, a program designed to help you tackle the physical aspects of health and weight loss as well as the beliefs and thoughts that drive our habits and behaviors. It is her goal to help women create certainty in their own lives, their own results, and their own abilities.

Weight loss is not about the one “right” diet – it is about MUCH more than that. Weight loss is not about the one “right” workout. Weight loss is not about being positive and putting a big smile on.

Weight loss is about FEELINGS. All of them. Not trying to bury them or hide from them but knowing and allowing the full human experience. Weight loss is not about grinding hustling and will powering your way to some end line. Transformation (when done well) is done from the inside out.

By addressing both the physical and mental aspects of dieting and weight loss, she has coached thousands of women ages 30-55+ from all over and helped them ditch the mindsets that are holding them back, achieve permanent weight loss, and get the bangin’ body of their dreams.

Bonnie is an expert at Demystifying weight loss. She helps you u****k your diet brain. She is on a mission to help women love themselves, to find PEACE in the process of losing weight, taking care of themselves, and leveraging the power they do have to become who and want they want right now.

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