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UNF*CK YOUR WEIGHT LOSS

Do You Just Want to be “Normal” with Food?

by | Aug 29, 2022

“I just want to be normal with food. Why can’t I eat like a normal person?” Have you ever had thoughts like this before? If you are anything like me, at some point, you have asked yourself the following questions:

  • Why don’t I have discipline? 
  • Why don’t I have willpower? 
  • Why am I  eating all the things? 
  • Why can’t I stop eating? 
  • Why do I binge eat? 
  • Why can’t I say no to dessert? 
  • Why do I have to clean my plate?

All of these thoughts are packed in around the thought of “I just want to be normal with food.” Here’s the thing…this thought that we are not normal implies we are broken, weak, and have no willpower or discipline. And this is simply not true.

Let’s Talk About “Normal”.

This idea of “being normal” with food is just something that our brain has come up with pretty much to make ourselves feel bad or like everybody’s doing it better than us. It makes us feel like we’re not good enough and we somehow missed the boat on how you’re supposed to eat like a normal person. “Normal” is fictional. But here are a few things to consider rewiring how you think about “normal”.

#1- There is something to genetics.

There are some people who genetically can kind of eat whatever they want. They can walk away from the plate of nachos, don’t really worry about the bun on the burger, and don’t need the salad dressing on the side. They listen to their bodies and that’s all that they have to do and remain relatively lean.

Most adult women, especially if they have had kids, become a bit more sedentary in their lives. Even if they were born with a fast metabolism, when that happens, you might not still have that magic metabolism. And that’s okay. Now, on the flip side of that, if everyone in your family is overweight, that does not mean you are doomed. But there is some genetic component when we start to look around and see people who are lean and seem to eat anything they want.

#2- Your brain is judgmental.

Your brain makes a lot of assumptions about a lot of things. Brains are very judgmental and always think they know what’s going on. We don’t know what everybody does when it comes to how they eat.  What we see is not always what is. So, we don’t want to hold that against ourselves because we really don’t know what is going on behind closed doors. 

#3- I want to tell you that “normal” in the United States is overweight.

Did you know that 60% of Americans are overweight? The average size of a female in the United States in 2022, changed from size 14 to 16. That’s a statistic floating around. I have not verified it. That said, over the course of the pandemic, the average woman gained 21 pounds. If you pay attention when you are in a public place, you will see the vast majority of Americans are actually overweight. 

What is also very interesting is that sizing has changed radically in the last couple of decades. The women in our moms’ generation were a size 8 and now they would probably be a size 2 or 4. It’s very interesting that as Americans get bigger and the food supply is more processed, the clothing manufacturers go along for the ride.  

It’s time to ditch the idea of being “normal” with food.

F*cking flush it down the toilet. It’s the most useless thought and is not helpful at all. So how can we change this thought that seems to plague so many of us? You need to notice when you have these thoughts. Awareness is key. Just be aware and do not judge yourself or beat yourself up about it. 

Then, once you have that awareness, you need to put your thoughts through a filter of sorts.  Ask yourself if that thought is really true. Some other questions you could ask yourself are:

  • Is it really a fact that everybody else can be normal with food and that you are flawed? 
  • Could it be that we live in a time of really hyper-palatable food? 
  • What else could be true? 
  • Is this thought helpful?
  • Who would I be without this thought? 
  • What could I think instead?

Walking around thinking I just want to be normal with food is not moving you closer to your goals.

In fact, it is just like a continuous bitch slap as to why you’re not normal. It’s really saying you’re broken. It really is some version of negative self-talk. This thought of normal puts more stress, pressure, and comparison on you. This thought of everyone else being normal with food, but you can’t be, is not innocent. It’s not without a lot of judgment.  

So, when we get into negative self-talk, it just reinforces poor body image and low self-esteem. 

It starts to make us feel like shit. It makes us feel defeated, sad, resentful, angry, ashamed, or guilty. Then, we start to doubt ourselves. And when we doubt ourselves, we cannot tap into our own inner wisdom. There’s just no way. We have no self-trust when it comes to food or hunger. 

Then, we start looking for other ways to beat ourselves up.  It’s a spiral that ultimate leads to looking for that next diet that is at best a temporary fix. You end up spinning through this cycle over and over and over. 

Negative self-talk is what is f*cking up your weight loss.

It’s not the diet or the diet industry because that’s allowing a diet to be in charge of you. It is simply what we make diets mean. I feel passionate about this because I’ve walked around with all of these same thoughts. Now, I am happy to be free. 

Occasionally, when you are working on this, when you are catching these thoughts, and gaining the awareness around them, it helps to write them down. You can get them out of your head. They are not you. They are separate from you. Then, you can put your thoughts through that filter of asking yourself, “Is this really true?” This can work on anything, it doesn’t have to even be weight loss. 

Just notice that a lot of the things we store in the attic of our minds, or the basements of our minds is just accumulated beliefs. You take it all in and carry it around. And you owe it to yourself, not to beat yourself up. So stop with the negative self-talk. That’s just bullshit. 

NOTES IN ANCHOR

“I just want to be normal with food. Why can’t I eat like a normal person?” Have you ever had thoughts like this before? If you are anything like me, at some point, you have asked yourself the following questions:

Why don’t I have discipline?

Why don’t I have willpower?

Why am I

eating all the things?

Why can’t I stop eating?

Why do I binge eat?

Why can’t I say no to dessert?

Why do I have to clean my plate?

All of these thoughts are packed in around the thought of “I just want to be normal with food.” Here’s the thing…this thought that we are not normal implies we are broken, weak, and have no willpower or discipline. And this is simply not true. This ideal is just something that our brain has come up with to make us feel bad about ourselves and like everybody’s doing it better than us. I truly believe we need to let go of the thought of being “normal” with food.

ABOUT THE HOST

Bonnie Lefrak has been in the health and fitness industry for 25 years. As a former bikini competitor, Bonnie helps other women achieve their dreams of being on stage as bikini competitors through her bikini program at the gym she owns in Massachusetts called Fitness Asylum. But as a self-proclaimed professional dieter, Bonnie also realized the toll dieting takes on the human brain. 

Bonnie helps women over 40 lose weight without killing themselves in the gym, eliminate all the BS food drama, and help to create a life and body they LOVE. She wants to help women create certainty in their own lives, their own results, and their own abilities. Weight loss is not about the one “right” diet. It is about MUCH more than that. 

Weight loss is not about the one “right” workout. Weight loss is not about being positive and putting a big smile on. Weight loss is about FEELINGS. All of them. Not trying to bury them or hide from them but knowing and allowing the full human experience. Weight loss is not about grinding hustling and will powering your way to some end line. Transformation (when done well) is done from the inside out. Transformation doesn’t happen on the scale. She is an expert at Demystifying weight loss and helps you unf*ck your diet brain.

Connect with Bonnie-

Facebook Group- https://www.facebook.com/groups/707942356603835

Instagram- https://www.instagram.com/bonnielefrak/

Website- https://bonnielefrak.com

Application- https://bonnielefrak.com/application

Email- bonnie@bonnielefrak.com

With Bonnie Lefrak

UNF*UCK YOUR WEIGHT LOSS

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